GOP Convention's Useful "How-Not-To-Do-It-List"

Democrats putting the finishing touches on their convention next week in Charlotte got some pointers from their GOP counterparts about easy pitfalls to avoid.

For one thing: don't let famous actors yearning to be stand-up comedians go on stage with props.

Who knows what could happen?

Another tip about scripts and jokes: Don't let your major speaker crack wise about climate and weather emergencies if, say, a major storm is still drenching a good part of the regional viewing area.

You might have to try and fix that by sending your not-so-funny, tone-deaf speaker the very next day straight to the emergency's effected area to put on a show of seriousness.

Also: Vet the claims your #1 and #2 speakers in particular intend to make before their nationally-televised audiences.

Some political exaggeration is bound to break out here and there, but make sure a major claim on the order of which president was in office when a particular auto plant might have been closed in a major speaker's home town doesn't go so wrong so fast that there's an almost-instantaneous "False" rating by an independent fact-checker like PolitiFact.

And if the same misspeaking speaker also 'forgot' he'd repeatedly asked for stimulus funds he'd blasted, and had to backtrack and correct by more than an hour the true time in which it was proven that he'd run a marathon, you might want to send that speaker to one of Sarah Palin's classes in Remedial Refudiation.

After all, who wants a ticket top-nominee with a fresh reputation for using performance-enhancing rhetoric?

I doubt the Democratic Convention will go off without a hitch. There are three high-profile days ahead where mistakes can be made and the wounded opposition and its trusty lieutenants will be waiting to pounce with payback.

Romney-Ryan batted first. I'll bet they wished they hadn't, as their frame had plenty of errors and runners caught stealing while the home team bats last.